When you recognize anything that I say, please acknowledge! It helps to facilitate the conversation with Spirit. Yes, please tell me how it relates to your loved one, but don’t tell me anything else…we want Spirit to tell me.
If you do not recognize or understand something I convey, please do not just say No. Please say something to the effect of I’m not sure right now, or I don’t recall right now. That will alleviate negative energy, which can disrupt the session. Most often it will make sense later in the reading, or even after the reading.
Relax, naturally. Please don’t have a few glasses of wine before, or something else of that nature. It will slow and/or stop the positive energy flow.
Please do not dictate or attempt to run the session. Spirit is in charge of that.
Think about your loved ones and any questions before your session. This will facilitate you connecting with who you want to.
I certainly understand life happens, but please be timely. I’ve been meditating just for you! If you are scheduled for a phone session, make sure you are in a quiet spot, with no interruptions.
A few repeats, but a great source for even more helpful tips…
8 Tips for Improving Your Readings with a Psychic Medium by Bob Olson
1) The first one I just want to talk about seems the most obvious: Don’t show up to your reading intoxicated or even hung over, whether you’re on some kind of sleeping pills or some kind of drug or even alcohol. I know that people get nervous about readings sometimes, so they might have a drink or two because of it. I don’t recommend it.
Here’s the thing. I had a friend who got a reading with a psychic medium on my list, on bestpsychicmediums.com. When she made the appointment, he answered the phone, was making the appointment, and her mother was coming through very loud and clear to the psychic medium. He gave her a few messages because it was so clear but then made the appointment for the following week.
When she had the appointment, the night before she was so nervous about her reading that she drank a bottle of wine the night before, so the next morning she was pretty hung over. She’s a little girl, so a bottle of wine was a lot for her, pretty hung over. As a result the connection that the medium was having with the mother was nowhere near the clarity that he had had the week before.
Who really knows why, but somehow the hangover that this girl, my friend, was having was affecting the clarity of the signal, the connection, between the medium and her mother in spirit. So something you want to be aware of and watch out for.
2) You want to get into a relaxed state. Now, let’s just say you get a reading with someone in person. So you’re going to the medium’s office and you’re dealing with rush-hour traffic. You’re all frazzled and fried because people are honking at you and a little bit of road rage there or something. You show up at the reading. You’re like shaking and upset.
That’s not the best way to start a reading. Not only is it going to affect the medium, but it’s going to affect you. You’re not going to be able to remember the reading as well. You’re going to end up with what we call psychic amnesia. The medium is going to be giving you messages from spirit, and you’re not going to recognize some of those messages. Psychic amnesia is very common, and it’s so classic. It’s funny sometimes that the medium will be saying something like, “Your loved one in spirit here is saying that you have three children,” and you don’t even know that you have three children. You’re like, “What? No, no, that doesn’t make sense.” Your friend who is with you is going, “You have three children.”
This actually happens all the time, so you want to be in a relaxed state. If you have to drive through traffic, make sure you get there early, sit in your car quietly, listen to some classical music, whatever it takes. If it’s a phone reading, at least 15 minutes before the reading sit in a quiet room. If you want to listen to some quiet, nice, soothing music, go ahead and do that. Otherwise, just sit, pay attention to your breathing, and just get ready for the reading in that way. It will make all the difference.
3) Don’t make deals with your spirits. This works against you. It doesn’t work in any positive way for your loved ones in spirit. A lot of people do this. They say, look, I’m going to go to this reading, and as long as you say something about the house on the lake or something about my nickname Jujube; whatever it may be, if you ask your loved one in spirit that you will trust that this medium is really connecting with them as long as they say a certain thing, you’re already setting yourself up for failure.
Because let me just explain to you how this works. The medium is connecting with spirit, and they don’t just get one message at a time. It’s not like me communicating with you where we get on the telephone and you say something, then I say something. A lot of messages are coming through all at once to the medium. They’re seeing things in their mind’s eye. They might be sort of hearing something. They’re feeling things, all the different clair abilities.
So they’re getting messages in various ways, and they pick and choose which messages they’re going to pass on. You never know which ones they’re going to be. Well, your loved one in spirit might be talking about the house on the lake, but at the same time they’re getting other messages; so the medium might not choose the house on the lake message to give you. That’s not your loved one in spirit’s fault. It’s just that’s the choice that the medium made.
So don’t set them up for failure, or don’t set yourself up for failure. Just because that message didn’t come through doesn’t mean it wasn’t really your loved one in spirit. You can’t make deals. Even if before someone dies you make a deal like that, just don’t set yourself up in that way.
4) We use this phrase all the time: Don’t feed the medium. What it really means is that you don’t want to give information to the medium. The best thing to do when you get a reading is just keep your lips sealed. The medium will ask you if you are recognizing or acknowledging any of these messages.
Do these messages make sense? You can say yes, no, or maybe. Yes, that makes sense. No, it doesn’t make sense to me; please give me some more information. Or maybe, maybe it makes sense, but unless you give me some more I’m not really going to know. Yes, no, or maybe is really the only thing that you should be saying to them.
I can’t tell you, though, how many times people get readings with a medium and they’re telling them all sorts of things that they shouldn’t be because the medium should be giving them the messages, in this case you. So if you have an uncle who was a firefighter who died putting out a fire, saving some lives, so he died on the job; if you tell the medium this before the medium has an opportunity to tell you this information, it really takes away from the reading that you’re going to have because these are the kinds of messages that are going to come through for you.
The medium is going to say, I have someone here who’s a firefighter or a fireman or whatever. Then later they’re going to try to tell you how that person passed, and they’re going to say, they died in a fire. They might even be able to give you the circumstances under which that happened. They were saving someone at the time, and they put their life on the line. They passed as a result. They’re a real hero.
If you give them this information, they’re not going to be able to give it to you. So don’t feed the medium anything. Don’t tell them anything. Let them tell you.
5) Don’t force fit messages. A common example is they say, I have a little, white dog that’s coming through. I see a little, white dog. You say something like, well, I had a white cat. That’s not the same. I’ve heard even worse. Well, I had a black cat when they were talking about a white dog.
People really try to force fit a message. You’ll find that you’re doing this because you want to try to help the medium out. If you’re a nice person, you tend to want to help make things fit. So you get the messages kind of right but not exactly, so you’re like trying to make it fit. Don’t try to make messages fit. If it doesn’t make sense, just tell the medium, no, it’s not really making sense. So don’t force fit messages.
6) If nothing’s making sense, stop the medium. Just say, hold on. I need to let you know that none of these messages are making sense. Because there’s so much that can happen; sometimes it might be that the message is for somebody else in your house. It could be with the friend that you’re with. It could be the messages are for the next caller. You don’t know what the circumstances are, but if none of the messages are making sense you can’t just let that medium go on and on and on.
I actually got an email from somebody who said to me she had a two-hour reading and nothing made sense. I emailed back, “Why didn’t you tell the medium anytime within those two hours that nothing was making sense?” It’s best if you do it within the first 10 or 15 minutes. She’s like, “I didn’t want to interrupt. I didn’t want to be rude.” No, interrupt. You don’t have to be rude. You can be kind about it. You can just let them know, sorry, this isn’t working; this isn’t making any sense.
You should do it in the first five or six or seven minutes if nothing’s making sense. Because if all you have is a half-hour reading and you let 15 or 20 minutes go before you let them know that so far none of the messages you’ve given me make any sense, now you’ve got to deal with you’ve just let them talk for 20 minutes and how are they going to give you a refund. I mean it really messes things up.
Make it easy on them from the beginning, and they might go, you know what? I’m not getting anything for you today. Let’s reschedule this and do this another time. Who knows why, for some reason I’m connecting with somebody else, and this person in spirit is a really strong communicator. For some reason these messages are the ones that are coming through. Let’s just do this at another time. You make it easy for them if you stop them early on. So stop them.
In the same way, you want to be honest both in your words and in your body language. Let me give you an example of what I mean by that. I was at a medium demonstration, a medium demonstration being a psychic medium’s on stage. He’s giving random readings to audience members who are there at that event and would say, I’ve got somebody coming through. It’s this person. They would describe what they look like or what their name is or how they died. Somebody would pick up that message and raise their hand. Yeah, that sounds like that’s for me. They would give that person a reading.
Well, I had a friend who was at one of these demonstrations and was getting a reading. All the messages were clearly for him. They all made sense until about halfway through the reading. All of the sudden it took a turn. Now, this is my friend, so I knew the messages were accurate at the beginning. Then I knew that the messages were not. Well, my friend, who just is a really nice guy and doesn’t want to make anybody feel bad or look bad, instead of stopping the medium and telling him, no, something took a turn here, none of these messages are making sense, he just sat there nodding, nodding, like he was acknowledging that he understood everything that was being said.
This medium, who was excellent because he doesn’t ask any questions, he just gives the messages. He does look to your body language to recognize whether or not any of it is making sense to you. My friend’s sitting there nodding like it’s all making sense. None of it was. He later admitted that, yeah, about halfway through all of the sudden it wasn’t making any more sense.
Another woman came up to me later and said, “Halfway through his reading I knew all the messages were for me. I knew they were for me.” She didn’t want to interrupt. The medium, he even felt as though the reading had gone in a different direction. But because my friend was nodding, he was confused and he just kept going with that one person. You see, so be honest in your words and in your body language if you’re getting an in-person reading with somebody.
7) The last thing I just want to talk about is skepticism. You need to keep an open mind with these things. Skepticism is good. There’s something that we all like to refer to as a healthy skepticism. I started off as a skeptic, a cynical skeptic, which I’m not proud of. I was a cynic. But I was open-minded enough to allow the messages to come through.
So what I’m trying to say is look for the real compelling, the real convincing evidence that comes through. So when a medium is giving you a message that there’s no way that they could possibly know, it’s best if the medium’s a stranger to you because there’s no way. Or even if you’re getting a psychic reading, if that psychic is a stranger to you, there’s no way they could know this stuff about you that they’re telling you.
There’s no way they could know this stuff about your loved one in spirit if the messages are coming through and this person’s a stranger to you. They’re telling you about his personality, say your father’s personality in spirit, what he did for work, his hobbies, how he died, all this kind of incredible evidence. A lot of times there will be names and dates and places.
So if this person is a stranger to you and they’re giving you this kind of evidence and some of the messages that come through don’t make sense or they’re just outright wrong, don’t throw all the rest of it away just because some of it was wrong. Keep an open mind. That’s the way I look at evidence. If some of it is really convincing, really compelling, like accurate, undeniable, I will give a little more benefit to the doubt for the other messages that maybe I’m just a little unsure about or maybe they’re a little more vague. I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt because all the other messages were so accurate.
8) I want to talk a little bit about misses because if you are skeptical you often count the hits and the misses. Oh, he got that wrong. He got that wrong. He got that wrong. Then we count the hits. Yeah, okay, okay, that one’s right, but he got three wrong. So you know what? Even though he got seven things right, seven hits, three misses, I’m just going to discard the whole reading.
Well, the reality is that in most readings there are going to be some misses. There is going to be some stuff that is wrong. Really, what you want to pay attention to is the hits, but the quality hits, the most compelling, the most convincing hits. What kind of evidence came through? Pay attention to that. That’s where the real magic is when you’re getting a good reading.
But there are three types of misses that I want to just point out. The first type of miss, the first category of misses that I want to talk about is what I call flat-out wrong misses. It’s just flat-out wrong. So the medium says to you, I think I have your mother in spirit, but your mother’s alive. So no, that’s just flat-out wrong. My mother is not in spirit. My mother’s still here, all right, flat-out wrong.
The second category of misses is technically wrong. This is when the medium might say, your father is showing me that he was a police officer. Technically, though, your father might have been a security guard or might have been an MP in the military, a military police or something like that.
He’s getting it technically wrong, but you recognize that he’s seeing him in some kind of a uniform. He’s just got it technically wrong, but you know he’s got the gist of it. You know he’s connected with your father. You know he’s seeing your father with some kind of uniform. He’s just mixing up the type of uniform it is. That’s technically wrong.
Third category is semantically wrong. I actually saw this in a medium demonstration. The medium was giving messages about someone who was coming through and was saying that it was a male energy that was coming through. The fact was it was the woman in the audience’s mother. She was the one who was coming through. She had a masculine energy. She wasn’t a male energy, meaning she wasn’t a man, but she had a masculine energy.
The person getting the reading just thought the medium was all wrong and just got it all mixed up because she was thinking he was saying a male was coming through. He messed it up semantically. It was just wrong word choice. He should’ve said it was a masculine energy because the reality was this woman’s mother in spirit now actually had a masculine energy and that was true. So that was semantically wrong. He was just using the wrong words.
So flat-out wrong is flat-out wrong. If it’s wrong, it’s wrong. You want to acknowledge that and tell the medium that it doesn’t make any sense to you. But if it’s technically wrong or semantically wrong, give them a little leeway with that because you know the message that’s coming through is sort of right. You know chances are they really did connect with your loved one in spirit. They’re just sort of misinterpreting some of the stuff that they’re seeing or hearing or feeling.